This just might be the most revolutionary musical idea to come along in generations.

A vinyl record, with an A Side called Bee Side, consisting solely of the buzzing of bees. The B side called Sea Side, consisting solely of calming ocean sounds.

I've often thought about armouring my own bulldozer and having a crack at the old Marvin Heemeyer special, plowing through my local town, but as much as I wish I was - I have to accept that I am not a man targeted by nearly enough people to justify that level of response.

Sure, I have my grievances and enemies, who doesn't?

But I often feel I am lacking in in the true visceral hatred of someone, something, or some group who have been out to get me and justify my planned wrath.

Sometimes I wish all my failings could be pinned onto someone I could do this to.

Lateral proton synchronisation in a bi-planar mode, could you do any less? Be gone.

Ann Widdecombe